When “Can’t Focus” Turned Out to Be Something Beautiful

When my second daughter, Sherilyn, was younger, she was full of energy—almost like there was a motor inside her that never switched off. She couldn’t sit still for long, her attention in class wandered easily, and she talked non-stop. Even when she was sitting or walking, her hands were always moving, touching, fidgeting.

At that time, I honestly wondered if she might have ADHD or Dyslexia.

But everything changed when she was 11.

One day, she decided to bake a strawberry cake for her granny’s birthday—all on her own. No help, no supervision. Just her, in the kitchen, completely focused.

Fingers cut, wrong measurements, and a very messy kitchen later... a beautiful and delish cake surprised all of us.

And what came out of that oven… was amazing for an 11-year-old.

That moment stayed with me.

Because from that cake onward, something in her unfolded.

She started exploring baking—pies, tarts, cakes, entremets,—and then moved on to cooking proper meals too. Sushi, Japanese egg rolls, Korean dishes, Indian food, Italian, French… she just kept learning, tasting, experimenting. Self-taught, driven, curious.

We were all her happy guinea pigs at home, especially during the lockdowns from 2020 - 2022 when she cooked and baked the most.

She even picked up latte art on her own later, then went on to attend paid courses she saved up for herself.

During the pandemic, while online classes were happening, she was often in the kitchen instead—PC on loudspeaker, multitasking in her own world. Sitting still for lessons wasn’t easy for her, but focus showed up strongly in other places.

In her SPM year, I eventually had to arrange nearly RM2,000 per month worth of one-to-one tuition for the entire year for Add Math, Physics, Chemistry & Bio, because the disruptions from lockdown and schooling challenges affected her learning. But she pushed through and still surprised me with her results in the end.

Later in university, something else became clear—when she studied architecture, her focus was incredible. Her assignments, models, and designs were detailed, creative, and strong. That was when I began to understand her more deeply.

Maybe it wasn’t that she “couldn’t focus.”

Maybe it was that she couldn’t focus on things that didn’t speak to her heart.

Because when she cares about something—baking, cooking, latte art, dance (especially), architecture—she becomes completely absorbed, almost unstoppable.

And I’ve learned this: sometimes children who seem “restless” or “unfocused” are simply not yet placed in the right environment for their strengths to shine.

So if your child struggles in school or seems distracted, don’t rush to label them. Give them space. Let them explore different interests. Let them try, fail, and try again.

You might just discover that their “dim light” is actually waiting for the right spark to shine brilliantly one day.